Just Because Writing

Lately, I've felt so much more pressure with blogging. I feel like I need to say something important or of significant value; otherwise, there is no reason for me to be writing. I discourage myself with the thought that no one is even really going to read what I post. Who even reads blogs anymore? My second-guessing myself makes me decide that it's not worth it because people will choose a youtube video over reading my thoughts on a subject. There's also this idea that a blog or website has to have a consistent purpose, and I find my self struggling with deciding exactly what I want to do with my voice and platform. I don't know what box to put myself in, so I end up not doing anything at all.

I recently started looking back through my old blog archives, and it reminded me about how I used to view blogging. I used it more like a public internet diary that I assumed no one would ever read (and I'm pretty sure the only people who did were my parents), so I had no fears about it being perfect or important. I wrote just because I wanted to.

That blog started as a bucket list goal of mine one summer and evolved into something new as I moved through different life stages. I used it as a way to keep myself accountable with new years resolutions. I shared DIY projects that I was trying out for myself. I shared fashion inspiration photos and film reviews. I shared reviews on books I was reading or what my playlist for the week was. When I was doing a social media cleanse, I shared mini Instagram feeds to share photos from the week. I used my blog as a travel journal while I was abroad. But overall, I mostly used blogging to document life events like diary entries or a place to dump out my thoughts on what was going on at that moment.

They weren't all long. There are a couple of posts that are only a sentence or two. I wasn't writing about the most important things in the world, but they were important enough to me to document, and that was all that mattered. This is the mindset I want to get back to. I had this grand idea that I would be writing and posting like crazy during quarantine, but I've found myself making excuses every day.

I'm done making excuses. It's just left me feeling unfulfilled and disappointed in myself. I'm going to go back to writing just because and see where it takes me. Maybe people will read what I have to say, maybe not, but I'll never know if I don't put anything out there. I'm excited to see what happens next and even more excited to be able to go back and read these in five years as something I'm proud of doing.

Love,
Julia Carrington